Midnight
by 4810
Summary: Juubei can still see Kazuki, at times. JuuKazu


Hi. :D Well, I'm not new to the Get Backers fandom, but I'm new to writing GB fics. Therefore, my writing will probably be horribly, horribly OOC. At first. Please give me pointers, tell me what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right.n.n; Wow, that seems my standard greeting message for anything new I'm starting to write for. How predictable am I?

Anyway, for those who don't know Ryokan A traditional Japanese inn, but somehow, saying that just doesn't sound quite right. Ryokan works better here. It gives it a better flow.

If you hate this, don't worry. I'm aware I have no talent, already.

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Juubei shifted uncomfortably in his futon. He was fairly sure it was late; he couldn't hear anyone moving about the ryokan, and if he ever did happen to pick up on someone else's conversation outside the room, it sounded hushed; as if the speaker was fearful of waking the other occupants.

Kazuki, occupying the futon beside Juubei's, was silent, aside from his soft breathing, and the occasional jingle of his bells. Juubei could also hear something else, similar to the sound of silk being dragged across a wooden floor.

He sat up. "Kazuki, what are you doing?"

He knew that the threadmaster was sitting either on or in his own futon, but that was all.

The sound stopped for a moment.

"I'm just brushing my hair before I go to sleep."

Some one brushing their hair seemed like quite a unique sound, Juubei thought, and he was a little put out that he hadn't been able to recognize it. It still amazed him how heavily he had relied upon his sight before it was lost. Perhaps not as much as other people would have, since his needle throwing had also required instinct; something that boasted far quicker reaction time than logical thought did.

He deserved this darkness. He knew he did. But there were also times like this when it seemed more like a punishment for Kazuki than for himself. He had to ask so many questions these days, about things going on around him that he couldn't see. Things that were so obvious to Kazuki, but completely out of reach for him.

"Is it that late?" So he had been right. But he had no idea exactly HOW late it was. It could have been anywhere from nine o'clock to twelve o'clock.

"I think it's about half past ten...There aren't any clocks in here" Kazuki replied, "But I'll put the laterns out soon, so we can rest." His voice was gentle, and Juubei thought it suited him. Kazuki could be violent, but he was a gentle person at heart. His voice could be so dreamy and soothing at times.

No one else's voice brought Juubei peace the way Kazuki's did.

He slowly reached out with one hand towards his friend, at first only finding air; then only the cover of the futon. His heart clenched. What good was he alive to Kazuki when he couldn't even find him?

Cool, slim fingers met his own, and he felt ashamed. It had been so easy for Kazuki to do that. He'd probably thought nothing of it. Kazuki's fingers continued moving, creeping up Juubei's wrist. He knew for memory how the looked; long and slender, but so strong, with almost oval shaped nails.

Kazuki's hand clasped his own. Neither of them said a word, nor did they move to be closer to one another. He could still hear Kazuki's breathing, a little heavier than before, and now he could smell him too; his pleasant, distinctive scent. There was really nothing he could compare it to. It was just... Kazuki. Juubei inhaled deeply, and his breath came out sounding like a sigh.

"Have you finished brushing your hair yet?" He hated to ask such mundane questions...

Outside, the trees rustled, so quietly it was hard to pick up on it. The breeze that night must have been quite weak.

"I've finished." Kazuki didn't mind answering; he was always so eager to help... but there were so many things that were so obvious to everyone else which Juubei needed to be told. He felt ashamed of himself.

He was a hindrance to Kazuki. Even now, the only reason they were at the ryokan was because they were searching for a way to cure his eyes. He was in the way. He felt like a child, always questioning, always needing to be watched. It seemed as if he was never going to adjust to his blindness, and that Kazuki would always have to hang over his shoulder, protecting him from himself.

_"I don't mind. Just don't ever leave me alone." _

No matter what Kazuki said...

_"It doesn't bother me. You can ask me anything at anytime."_

He still felt...

_"I'm not exasperated, Juubei. I'm happy. As long as you're with me, I'll be happy."_

Like he was in the way.

"I wish I could see you." Juubei half mumbled, almost to himself. He was burning inside, to see his childhood friend. In the short time Kazuki had been gone from Mugen Jou he had changed - grown - a lot. Juubei wasn't sure if it was a physical change or a change inside Kazuki that he was noticing, but in the short time they'd been together before he'd gone blind... he'd had no time to really see him.

He wanted to look at Kazuki again; at everything. At the new things... the things that had changed, and even the parts about him that he already knew so well. He'd noticed that being in the outside world again hadn't changed the way Kazuki held himself... no, that wasn't right. The time that the two of them had spent in Mugen Jou hadn't changed it. Kazuki's elegance was still the same as it had been in his early childhood.

"Can't you remember how I look?" Kazuki asked. His voice was calm, as it almost always was, but Juubei still wondered if he was worried.

He knew he should lie about the answer, but he couldn't bring himself to do that to Kazuki, "It's blurry. Everything, whenever I try to remember, is blurry. I haven't seen for a while now and conjuring up images is difficult. I can remember some things more clearly than others."

Kazuki didn't say anything more for a while. He continued to grip Juubei's hand in his own, gently stroking it with his other.

"Do you remember my smile?" Kazuki finally asked. It seemed an odd question to Juubei, but he rarely denied his friend anything, let alone something as simple as answer.

"I do... Are you smiling now?"

Kazuki didn't answer with words, guiding Juubei's hand upwards until it rested upon his his mouth. Juubei traced his friend's lips gently.

"Won't you smile for me, Kazuki?"

The polite request drew a quiet chuckle from the other man, and Juubei felt it pull the corners of his mouth upwards.

"Can you... feel how I look?" Kazuki asked, not sure how to word it. He'd seen Madoka read faces with her hands before, but she'd been blind all her life... But Juubei...

"Not yet. I'll learn." He shook his head, and moved his hand to cup Kazuki's cheek. The long-haired man leant into it and closed his eyes, letting his long eyelashes brush against his skin.

"I don't want you to forget my face." Juubei heard Kazuki murmur softly, and he wished he'd had the strength to lie before. He didn't want his friend to have to worry about something like this. He knew that Kazuki blamed himself, for Juubei's blindness.

"I don't want to either." Plainly saying what he really felt was easiest for Juubei.

He could tell that Kazuki wasn't smiling anymore, but he didn't mention it either. They simply sat in silence again, listening to each other's breathing, and for Kazuki, watching Juubei's expression closely. He wished he could tell what his friend was thinking. Back when they were children, Juubei had always been so open about everything. Now he was almost... reclusive.

When he finally spoke, it wasn't an insight into anything. Just a practical sentence.

"I think we should go to sleep, Kazuki." He drew his hand away, but the warm feeling of human contact still lingered upon both of their bodies.

Kazuki didn't protest as Juubei curled up under the cover of his futon, doing nothing with his time other than waiting for sleep. He heard Kazuki get up, presumably to put out the laterns, before returning to rest. He heard him take a hesitant breath, the sort that a person will make as they decie whether or not to say something they're not sure about. Juubei kept listening, waiting to see if Kazuki would continue.

"I'm glad you're alive Juubei." He finally spoke, "If you'd died back then, I would have lost my most precious person. Even if you can't see... if you stay blind... I don't want to be apart from you again. I don't mind if you forget my face, or smile, or anything. I left you once... but please don't leave me. Promise to stay by my side."

Juubei's face remained an expressionless mask, betrayed by the passion in his voice, "I promise. I promise never to hurt you again."

He was unaware of how long it took for him to fall asleep, or how long he slept before he started to dream. It didn't seem have a beginning, as is normal with dreams, but Juubei was happy to relax and enjoy it. When he was asleep it seemed so much more like reality than the real world did. The real world was like a dark illusion; a nightmare his mind had twisted. When he dreamt, he could forget he was blind. When he dreamt, he could see.

He could see the sun, and the way it cast it's light upon the stream in front of him. He could see the grass underneath him, fresh and green, and every detail of the trees in the forest behind him. And... he could see Kazuki, sitting next to him peacefully, seeming to drink in the perfect view that had been set out, just for the two of them. The stream babbled cheerfully, running over rocks and stones, far off into the distance. The grass was dotted with small yellow flowers, and it seemed as if he could feel the rough bark of the tree he was propped up against.

He titled his head to face Kazuki, who returned his gaze, and offered him a relaxed smile, as if they didn't have anything to worry them. Like they could keep sitting under the warm sun forever.

Juubei gently let his hand slide over Kazuki's, almost shyly, and then waited to see how he reacted. The other man didn't pull away; on the contrary, he inched towards him slowly, until their shoulders were touching, and then twined their arms together. Juubei's chest felt tight. The sort of tightness that comes from a happiness that's so overpowering, it makes you feel as if you're going to cry.

He could see Kazuki; his gentle brown eyes, his smooth, white skin, and his mass of brown hair, shining with countless yellows and reds under the sunlight.

Juubei wanted to be closer to him, close enough to run a fingertip over his moist, pink lips, or to brush his bangs away from his eyes.

He didn't want to kiss him; not just yet. He wanted to keep his eyes open; to keep seeing Kazuki. He wasn't sure exactly why, but something in his mind told him that this was important. He had to continue drinking in the sight of his best friend; his girlish shirt that showed off his shoulders. The jeans that hugged the feminine curve of his hips. His delicate, strong hands, one of which was currently wrapped around Juubei's arm...

All of him.

Everything.

He wanted all of Kazuki desperately right now. He wanted more than just this... and at the same time, it seemed like what he had now was enough. He wouldn't want to be frozen in this moment forever, but he was content.

He wanted to keep looking, but the sun was so warm and his body ws starting to feel strangely heavy. It seemed that Kazuki had fallen asleep while he wasn't looking, but then, he was sure he hadn't looked away once.

The threadmaster looked so childishly innocent while he slept. It was so tempting to join him... just for a little while. After all, he would be with Kazuki for the rest of his life. There was no harm in resting for a moment. As he closed his eyes, the last thing he saw was his slumbering friend's peaceful smile.

Juubei drifted awake slowly, and the colourful dream-world slowly dissolved.

Dark. Quiet. Nothing.

He was still in the inn, and he could still hear night time sounds. He hadn't managed to sleep until morning.

Kazuki was still there. He could still hear his breathing, still quiet and even. Juubei waited for a while, recalling the events of the dream and finally, he let a smile form on his mouth.

"Kazuki. Are you still awake?" He kept his voice low just in case he wasn't, for fear of waking him. If he'd been dreaming, he must have surely been asleep for four hours at least. That was plenty of time for anyone to fall asleep.

"I am. I can't seem to rest." The reply was drowsy, but perfectly audible. "I have too much to think about."

Juubei slowly sat up, readjusting to being awake. He reached out towards Kazuki again, under the covers of his futon and this time found his arm in one go.

"Juubei?" Kazuki didn't sound too confused, merely slightly puzzled. Juubei didn't answer him, but instead slid out of his own futon, and knelt by Kazuki's. He moved his hand from his best friend's arm, down to his waist, encircling it and lifting him into his arms. Kazuki returned the embrace, letting his arms carelessly snake around Juubei's back.

"I want you to know, Kazuki... how beautiful you are right now."

Juubei didn't need to see anymore. Kazuki was always beautiful.


End file.
